Normally I post the morning of May 24 the day it all began, however this year May 24 is Shabbos so we are doing May 23. Normally I do things I am grateful for this year I have decided to do things I am proud of. (This will take 4 slides on some platforms) These took place over 4 days, 6 weeks, 7 months and 16 months respectively.
1) I am proud I calmed down so quickly after the meltdown. Looked my accuser in the eye said Tehillim and knew I would be okay. And I was. I just had a long road ahead of me.
2. I am proud that I fought so hard for my daughter and was able to win her back
3. I am proud I was able to survive it both physically and emotionally
4. I am proud I was able to live in a place where I knew I was not wanted for 7months and continue to be the best parent I could be
5. I am proud that I was able to deal with her emotional fallout while calmly parenting and dealing with my PTSD for the last 9 months of it.
6. I am proud I was able to see the good moments amongst the bad
7. I am proud I managed to keep Shabbos to the best I could with my limited abilities
8. I am proud I was able to creatively keep tznius to the best of my abilities
9. I am proud I was able to sing Jewish and Hasidic songs during that long ride when I didn’t know where I was going
10. I am proud I was able to conduct myself with dignity despite how they were treating me, including the assaults and emotional abuse
11. I am proud I managed to keep kosher despite them trying to take this from me
12. I am proud I did not let them break me
13. I am proud I can look back today and write this list 7 years later
14. I am proud of all the people I have been able to help, I continue to help and will be helped in the future as a result of this tragedy that never should have happened
15. Lastly I am proud I did all this while battling chronic pain, vision loss, a surgery in the middle, a seizure disorder, anxiety and depression. With the knowledge I never did what they were charging and accusing me of. Because I love my daughter and I never could.
This happened in 2018, which happened to be the 10th of Sivan. Monday was the second day of Shavous and Victoria Day so it was a short week for everyone. This happened on Thursday-I never saw a judge for bail until Monday because I was the matter pushed over. I was sent to a private jail and was only given a name that meant nothing to me. I figured out where I was because I read the paper on the desk at the jail upside down and saw it said correctional facility. That’s how I knew where I was, I was in Burlington-I found this out because they gave me a return address so I could mail something-after being told they weren’t letting me out.